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Maidstone: West Kent Befriending Service celebrates Christmas

With Christmas fast approaching, the West Kent Befriending Service gathered to sing carols in celebration of those who have found a friend in time for the festive season.

The organisation, a collaboration between Age UK and mental health charity Mind, encourages people to give an hour a week to visit an isolated person, to lift their spirits, boost their confidence and provide companionship.

The Kent Messenger’s Give The Gift Of Friendship campaign has been spreading the group’s message and hopes to match 100 lonely people with befrienders by Christmas.

Traditional carols and fun songs were sung. Picture: Martin Apps
Traditional carols and fun songs were sung. Picture: Martin Apps

Figures for December won’t be available until the new year but at the end of November 76 people had been matched with volunteers and more than 40 people are in the process of becoming befrienders.

In the meantime, the befriending service got into the festive spirit at The Mall Chequers, Maidstone, assisted by members of Invicta Grammar School’s choir and Maidstone Rock Choir.

Singing classics such as Silent Night and fun numbers including Jingle Bells, the group raised more than £380.

Members of the Invicta Grammar School choir joined the West Kent Befriending Service and Maidstone Rock Choir. Picture: Martin Apps
Members of the Invicta Grammar School choir joined the West Kent Befriending Service and Maidstone Rock Choir. Picture: Martin Apps

Befriending service manager, Wendy Pfeiffer, said: “The Christmas sing-along was a fabulous time when volunteers old and new joined staff and even a few clients to promote the service.

“While the money donated was obviously fantastic, more important was the opportunity to speak to members of the public about the befriending service.

“Some joined in the singing and others expressed an interest in becoming volunteers, which will add to the already highly successful Kent Messenger campaign.”

The Kent Messenger's Give The Gift Of Friendship campaign aims to match 100 lonely people with befriending volunteers by Christmas
The Kent Messenger's Give The Gift Of Friendship campaign aims to match 100 lonely people with befriending volunteers by Christmas

She hopes to match all clients and volunteers shortly, adding: “The need for volunteers is constant; just this week I have received another 11 referrals for people requesting the befriending service.

“For many people loneliness is not just the way they feel at Christmas time, it is the way they feel every single day.”

Earlier this month reporter Suz Elvey, who has been running the KM campaign and signed up as a volunteer, was matched with 84-year-old Mike Brown from Shepway, Maidstone.

Pupils from Invicta Gramar School joined in. Picture: Martin Apps
Pupils from Invicta Gramar School joined in. Picture: Martin Apps

The widower has a son, daughter and five grandchildren nearby, but was referred to the befriending service after a stay in hospital when, he says, he was feeling a bit down.

The retired office worker, who had been waiting to be matched with a volunteer since June, said: “I wanted to get in contact with different people. I spent so much time alone and I thought, ‘I just can’t go on like this’.

"I think we’re going to have lots to talk about and I’d like to get out and about as well.”

Conversations so far have included topics such as travel, food and the bombing of Maidstone during the Second World War, with Mike describing in fantastic detail how he watched V1 flying bombs being shot down over Barming as a child.

The sing-along took place at The Mall Chequers, Maidstone. Picture: Martin Apps
The sing-along took place at The Mall Chequers, Maidstone. Picture: Martin Apps

Befriending service manager Wendy Pfeiffer said: "I am really pleased we have finally managed to place a volunteer with Mike. It’s sad that due to the shortage of volunteers he had to wait so long, as this service would have been a huge benefit when I first met him.

“Suz and Mike hit it off from the word go and I have no doubt her visits will give Mike something to look forward to and they will both enjoy their time spent together.”

Reporter Suz Elvey, left, is introduced to Mike Brown by befriending services manager Wendy Pfeiffer. Picture: John Westhrop
Reporter Suz Elvey, left, is introduced to Mike Brown by befriending services manager Wendy Pfeiffer. Picture: John Westhrop

The befriending service also had a special group, called Out and About, dedicated to providing a volunteers for members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) communities.

It was founded by businesswoman Shaz Riley who worked in theatres in London’s West End from the age of 17, and remembers gay colleagues – male and female – who were 10 to 15 years older than her being too afraid to come out to their families at a time when homosexuality was not only frowned upon but also – until 1967 – illegal.

The 49-year-old, who committed to her wife, Sue, in a lavish ceremony in 2011, said: "Those people would be in their seventies and eighties now.

Shaz Riley runs an Age UK group that focuses on finding volunteers to befriend lonely members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) communities. Picture: Jane Allen
Shaz Riley runs an Age UK group that focuses on finding volunteers to befriend lonely members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) communities. Picture: Jane Allen

“Many of them won’t have children and may have been disowned by their families, and they will still face the same discrimination from people their own age as they did back then. What you end up with is a lot of gay people living in isolation.

"The older people feel more comfortable having gay volunteers. It’s about having a common ground. They love hearing about the lives of gay people today and how times have changed. Out and About is changing lives in really positive ways.”

Anyone over 18 can volunteer. Basic training will be given before volunteers are checked and matched with suitable clients. To find out more call 0800 048 4668, email befriending@ageukmaidstone.org.uk or click here to visit the West Kent Befriending Service Facebook page. To speak to Out and About with regards to volunteering or becoming a client, call 01892 522591 or email info@ageuktw.org.uk.

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