Published: 13:55, 02 May 2014
A parrot that swears like a trooper is on the loose from Sittingbourne.
The African grey, which goes by the name of John, was siting on the shoulder of owner Ann Mitchell in her back garden when it was spooked.
Ms Mitchell has now launched a poster campaign to find foul-mouthed John, who tells her dog to f*** off and shut up.
He was scared off by a neighbour's son-in-law who - in a twist of irony - called out over the fence: "Doesn't it ever fly away?"
"As I said 'no', he took off," Ms Mitchell said. "I don't blame him.
"John does talk - sometimes I can have a conversation with him, but I don't think he would if anyone finds him.
"He calls me in the morning by saying 'mum' and follows me everywhere. The only time he's in his cage is when I'm at work in the morning.
"He calls the cat's Jinx and Salem by their names and swears like a trooper at the dog Max - he tells him to 'f*** off'. He also says 'f***ing parrot' and 'shut up'.
"Sometimes I'll say to him 'be quiet' and he'll reply 'sod off'. He also mimics the phone ringing and says 'hello' as if he's answered it."
In a desperate bid to trace "her baby", 57-year-old Ms Mitchell has put up posters in the area, put flyers through people's letter boxes and contacted local veterinary surgeries - but the 11-year-old foul-mouthed bird is yet to found.
He was last seen heading towards the railway line at the rear of the house in Springfield at about 4pm on April 21.
Grandmother Ms Mitchell, who works as a home shopping picker at Asda, in Mill Way, Sittingbourne, said: "I miss him so much. He's like a baby to me.
"He never flies - he walks from one room to the other. He's usually on my shoulder or standing wherever I am. He's like my shadow.
"He usually goes in the garden with me, but he's never flown off before.
"It looked like he went in the garden at the back of me which is next to the railway line. We went there three or four times and called for him.
"I also spoke to the workmen on the track and asked them to keep an eye out for him, but nothing.
"I'm worried the foxes may have got him. I put the cage out in the garden in the hope he might come back, but he hasn't."
John - who was bought for around £1,000 in 2003 from Nottcutts garden centre in Maidstone - has light grey colourings around the eyes, a bright red tail and is slightly bald around the neck.
Anyone with any information about John's whereabouts is asked to email email@example.com.
Every morning at 10am we play you an hour of tunes from the 90s. We call it, #WeLoveThe90s.
Play 'Say It' with Garry and Laura on kmfm Breakfast and you could win £1,000!
Wake up to kmfm Breakfast with Garry and Laura - it's Kent's alarm call.