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Review: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Orchard Theatre, Dartford

Mirror, mirror on the wall, what’s the most spectacular pantomime of them all? This year it has to be Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

Producers Qdos have thrown every trick in the book at this two-and-a-half hour show at Dartford’s Orchard Theatre.

Families are in for a rollercoaster romp of a panto from the first fearsome pyrotechnic red flare to the finale’s confetti canon. There’s a flying car, a ride on a giant bat which swings out over the audience and a terrifying trip through a 3D-filmed haunted forest with spiders and a werewolf.

Joe Pasquale as Muddles tries to keep Prince Calum of Kent (Alexis Gerred) and Snow White (Victoira Serra) apart at Dartford's Orchard Theatre
Joe Pasquale as Muddles tries to keep Prince Calum of Kent (Alexis Gerred) and Snow White (Victoira Serra) apart at Dartford's Orchard Theatre

Star of the show is squeaky-voiced Kent comic Joe Pasquale as a gadget-rich Muddles complete with skate-boarding shark, weeing dog puppet and motorised toilet.

But although the lure of Pasquale’s quirky sense of humour and his death-defying stunts with the curtain will have brought audiences through the door, the unremitting volley of special effects will keep them glued to their seats.

For once, the amazing illusions almost outshine the stars. Philip Gladwell’s jaw-dropping lighting and Ian Westbrook’s sets are simply to die for.

Boo! Rachel Stanley stars as the evil Queen Sadista in Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs at Dartford's Orchard Theatre
Boo! Rachel Stanley stars as the evil Queen Sadista in Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs at Dartford's Orchard Theatre

Rachel Stanley is suitably evil as Queen Sadista, Victoria Serra is good as Snow White and Alexis Gerred plays handsome Prince Calum of Kent effortlessly, despite having to put up with what seems like a lot of unnecessary teasing from the unarguably talented Pasquale.

Meanwhile, the seven dwarfs came as a big shock. They are played by normal-sized actors shuffling about on knees in cute costumes. But the effect worked. Something else which worked was the 16 stunning costume changes from female impersonator Ceri Dupree as the disconcertingly glamorous Dame Dolly Diamond.

This performance was more Danny La Rue than Les Dawson. It soon became obvious why he needed an entire dressing room for his frocks and a team of 11 behind the scenes to keep his feathers and sequins in tiptop condition.

Joe Pasquale stars with his glamorous 'mum' Dame Dolly Diamond (Ceri Dupree) in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs at Dartford's Orchard Theatre
Joe Pasquale stars with his glamorous 'mum' Dame Dolly Diamond (Ceri Dupree) in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs at Dartford's Orchard Theatre

There was even a chance to sing Happy Birthday to youngsters and to get four of the little angels on stage to perform The Music Man. Alas, one young wag (take a bow, Alfie Kerry) admitted he wanted to go home. But his mum wouldn’t let him!

In all, a must-see experience although if I was director Jonny Bowles I’d lose the adult jokes about Viagra, Popeye and the sexual innuendos of the otherwise clever sweet shop routine and its giant Curly Wurly.

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs opened on Saturday December 10 and runs to Christmas Eve. Tickets from 01322 220000 or visit orchardtheatre.co.uk

For all the pantos across Kent this Christmas click here.

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