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The trouble with being friendly is that you need the time to do it

The trouble with being friendly is that you need the time to do it.

We all like to think that we’re happy to smile and say hello to strangers but let’s be honest, sometimes you just don’t want to.

At the end of a particularly taxing day, I’m lucky I have a half hour drive home to get the bulk of any angst off my chest (largely by shouting at the radio, and not other drivers) but my poor hubby does still cop some of it when I walk through the door.

If I had journeys on packed tubes and trains to contend with, I too would probably want to stick in some headphones and bury my head in a book. Some days you really don’t want to interact with the rest of the world.

The Tube isn't always a place to make friends
The Tube isn't always a place to make friends

Even the man behind new badges encouraging people to chat on the Tube says he thought it would be more fun than it was.

Jonathan Dunne, who is originally from the United States, has been giving out tiny badges with the words ‘Tube Chat?’ on them. The idea is that by wearing one, you’re letting others know that you’re happy to be approached for a natter.

Jonathan thought it would be a good way of getting people to get their heads out of the books and make the trip home more pleasant.

On paper, it sounds like a great idea but he’s struggling to give the free badges away.

So why wouldn’t you want to wear one? Tubes aren’t always the friendliest of places, and look how quickly videos go viral of people spontaneously bursting into song, or entertaining commuters with their guitar. People love a bit of light relief when faced with 20 minutes on a stuffy carriage, but while they’re happy to watch a spectacle, they want to be bystanders, not participants.

An off-the-cuff chat with a stranger can be uplifting, but if someone opens a conversation with you, you can choose to continue with it, or make a short acknowledgement and walk away.

If you’re wearing a badge that’s inviting the attention, it’s hard to turn you’re back on someone you’re really not sure about.

I do a lot of walking, and walkers tend to be cheery people, saying hello, exchanging a smile and maybe passing a bit of helpful information about a giant puddle up ahead.

It happens because you’re relaxed, not dashing to catch the next train from London. Your attitude to others on a day trip to the capital will be so different when you’re rushing to get home for dinner.

But even with a quick hello, that’s it – you’re not stuck with the dilemma of putting up with 10 minutes of chatter of someone you’d rather avoid or give up your well-deserved seat on a packed commute.

I applaud Jonathan for his efforts (and his continued perseverance – he’s already ordered more badges) but maybe just more effort from all of us to share a smile with a stranger will help make a difference, without the pinned-on label.

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