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In the Mix review of The John cocktail bar in Canterbury, located in former public toilets

PREMIUM

Thanks to a misspent student loan, I’ve spent quite a few nights in bars that smelled like public toilets - but never before had I actually drunk in one.

That all changed when I visited The John in Canterbury.

The John in Canterbury
The John in Canterbury

The result of an ambitious redevelopment of the city’s underground 1930s loos in Burgate, this subterranean watering hole was originally launched as The Privy in 2019 but reopened under new management in March.

I thought perhaps the building’s USP would be the end of its appeal, and upon exclaiming how well it had scrubbed up, and how much scrubbing must have been involved, it would quickly prove to be just another pre-mix reliant, ice-heavy, student dive bar.

But there was nothing bog standard about it.

As we descended the stairs, we were greeted by trendy mixologists shaking away in front of a luxe mirrored bar. Inside, it looked as though RuPaul had been let loose on the industrial zone in the Crystal Maze - disco balls, glitter curtains and neon slogan signs softening a backdrop of exposed ductwork and concrete walls.

It was 7pm and the booths were all taken - as was the Naughty Corner - so we took a seat on some bar stools and began perusing.

The pornstar martini was beautifully presented, and just as delicious
The pornstar martini was beautifully presented, and just as delicious
A solid margarita
A solid margarita

Catch up with the Secret Drinker’s latest review here

The menu was classy and uncomplicated with a selection of 12 cocktails, all priced at £11.95, and we opted for a margarita and a pornstar martini to kick things off.

They were beautifully presented, mine with edible flowers and half a passionfruit bobbing on top, and the table service added to the feeling of sophistication.

That was quickly shattered, however, by the cackling coming from a group of lairy ladies who had just tottered onto the dancefloor nearby.

Within seconds, there was a screech of “don’t look, my knickers have just fallen down”, then some gyrating, followed by more cries about ill-fitting underwear.

Eyes down and now firmly fixed on my edible flowers, I got a nudge from my partner - we’d been spotted.

The Naughty Corner
The Naughty Corner

“Sorry, I think I just crashed your rom-com,” said the lady suffering the wardrobe malfunction, before plonking down her wine and filling us in on her night so far.

As suspected, this wasn’t their first port of call. They weren’t stopping though.

“It’s a bit dear here, isn’t it?” she observed before teetering off.

It’s true.

While the drinks were delicious and made with premium spirits, these were undoubtedly London prices and with no deals to soften the blow.

The bar had emptied out by the time of our second round - a caipirinha mocktail and a paloma
The bar had emptied out by the time of our second round - a caipirinha mocktail and a paloma

Despite that, we dutifully soldiered on - me with a paloma made with tequila, lime and grapefruit and the other half of the rom-com getting a bespoke caipirinha mocktail.

There are no alcohol-free options listed on the menu, but the bartender seemed excited to make something up based on our tastes and explained in detail what was going into it.

Again, we had zero complaints - these were expertly made drinks.

The only question mark was over who this bar was trying to cater for.

The drinks and service were certainly higher-end, but The John is advertised as a late-night hangout with DJ decks at the ready and a sizeable amount of the compact space designated as a dancefloor.

The bar had a mix of booth seating and bar stools
The bar had a mix of booth seating and bar stools

If it’s students or the party crowd it’s aimed at, is it just a little TOO swanky? And a little too pricey?

It might just be me, but I couldn’t imagine forking out £12 for a beautiful cocktail, only to end up sloshing it when Sandstorm comes on.

I couldn’t help wondering if this drinking den might lend itself better to an intimate live music setting - somewhere to linger rather than an end-of-the-night destination where quality is less important than proximity to a kebab shop.

That said, I thoroughly enjoyed my trip to The John, potty-mouthed revellers and all.

But you have to be feeling flush to spend any considerable time at these converted loos, for sure.

The look was industrial crossed with disco vibes
The look was industrial crossed with disco vibes
The entrance to The John
The entrance to The John

The John, Burgate, Canterbury, CT1 2HG

Décor: The transformation of these 1930s loos is quite remarkable, and the luxe industrial look made the space seem cool and cosy ****

Drinks: Beautifully presented and with premium ingredients, the cocktails were spot on. The menu was a well-curated selection of classics and had all my favourites, but if I had to nitpick, there was nothing pushing the boundaries ****

Price: Cocktails are on the pricier side at £11.95 each and without happy hour deals. A glass of wine starts at £9 and bottled beers are £5.50. If you’re there for a dance, though, consider that there is no entry fee for the Friday and Saturday night DJ sets ***

Staff: Everyone greeted us as we entered, and the table service was friendly and efficient. Our bartender talked us through mocktail options after finding out about our tastes and checked in on whether her concoction had hit the mark *****

Best for: Date night

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