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Spoof Channel 'wall' fundraiser goes viral

A fundraising campaign to build a wall in the English Channel has gone viral - but all is not as it seems.

Simon Harris, the man behind spoof website Southend News Network, set up the page saying the wall would deter people attempting to reach Dover from France.

Where the wall around the channel will be. Picture: https://www.gofundme.com/f/english-channel-wall (40344751)
Where the wall around the channel will be. Picture: https://www.gofundme.com/f/english-channel-wall (40344751)

It ha already raised more than £2,000 - but while some may be giving up their hard earned cash for what they think is a scheme to stop people making it to Dover on small boats they're actually helping vulnerable families in Essex.

The fundraising page claims it is clear "our border force needs help" and has even created a basic design of what it would look like. This comes after hundreds of people have landed on the Kent coast on small dinghies in the last few weeks and drawn national media attention.

Simon writes: "I am proposing a border wall similar to what you would normally find in a swimming pool separating the lanes - except that this will be made out of a better quality plastic that is covered in a special adhesive that makes boats stick to it. Something like Bostik but a lot stronger.

"I would probably need to hire a couple of hovercrafts to get it installed. This has been factored into the cost.

"In the event that an illegal vessel comes into contact with it, it would remain stuck in place until the French navy arrives to rescue them, and if enough boats get stuck to it in one go, the whole thing could simply be towed back to the French coast.

"I know that you are all asking the same question - what happens to all of the legitimate boats trying to cross the sea?

"My solution would be a special gap in the middle of the border that can be opened and closed by a border guard on duty, something like you get outside a nightclub where the bouncer unclips it to allow people in before closing it again.

"I have calculated that I will need £10,000 for the proposed stretch of the sea, but any excess funds will be used to make the border even longer reaching along to the Solent or even Cornwall.

"Our government won't step up, so it's time to take action!"

Migrants arrive at Dover this morning. Pictue Chris Johnson (39853568)
Migrants arrive at Dover this morning. Pictue Chris Johnson (39853568)

While many Twitter users read this in despair, the caveat at the bottom cleared up any concerns about the Trump-esque border.

It reads: "LEGAL NOTE: In the event that this project runs into difficulties during the research and development stage, funds will be donated to a local project providing hot meals and activities to children from vulnerable families during the Summer Holidays in Essex. This is being organised by the guys at The Prince Of Wales pub in Stow Maries, and local volunteers are even providing transport for children to and from the site to ensure that nobody in the area goes hungry."

Donations have since been made in the names of Border McBorderFace, Julia Hartley-Brewer and Cruella De Vil.

Mr Haris has started several fundraisers before in a similar vein including for KarenAid2020 and another to sue Twitter for banning Katie Hopkins which raised more than £28,000 for the Trussel Trust.

Most of those replying to Simon's post were in on the joke,

One tweeted: "I'm a bit concerned about the glue. Will it still be sticky in salty water? Also, how will it affect fish?"

Another added: "Is it going to high enough to stop dolphins leaping over it? If not, waste of time as illegal immigrants will soon dump their inflatable rafts and simply ride across on dolphins. Should be at least 20m high. And what about Belgium?"

And Norma Roberts tweeted: "We should build a Stephen King style dome, keep 'em ALL out! As every proud, flag flying, patriotic, Brit knows, we don't need anyone else. We can survive, on this island, with nothing/no-one coming in, & nothing/no-one going out, just us Brits against the world! Rule Britannia!"

The fundraiser can be found here.

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