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World Suicide Prevention Day: Men taking their lives at 5 year high in Kent

The number of men from Kent taking their lives has reached a five year high - with Maidstone going from the local authority with the joint-lowest number to the highest within 12 months.

Across the county there were 176 male suicides registered in 2019, a rise by 20 from 2018. This is the highest number since 2014, when 195 were recorded.

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In the County Town, the number rose from eight to 26, official data from the Office for National Statistics (ONS) shows.

The number of men taking their own lives in England and Wales last year was the highest for two decades, with 5,691 suicides registered and males aged 45 to 49 in the highest age-specific bracket.

The ONS said men accounted for around three quarters of suicide deaths registered last year, 4,303 compared with 1,388 women.

Following these figures, grieving relatives have given inadequate mental health services and the pressure of social media as reasons why more men are taking their lives.

A charity has also said services are failing many people who need help the most and, to mark World Suicide Prevention Day today, authorities are urging people who are struggling to reach out.

Tommy Thwaites with some of his family
Tommy Thwaites with some of his family

Why Maidstone has seen such a drastic climb remains unclear, despite questions put to a local mental health charity and the Kent and Medway CCG.

The County Town, however, is not the only in Kent where numbers rose compared to 2018.

In Canterbury, figures rose by three to 19. In Dover, there was a rise from nine to 13 while in Folkestone and Hythe as well as Medway there were increases of one to 12 and 20 respectively.

In Thanet, figures hiked by three to 21 and in Tonbridge and Malling there was a rise of five to 13.

Ashford, Gravesham, Sevenoaks and Swale all saw numbers fall by one from, seven, 12, seven and 10 respectively.

Tunbridge Wells decreased by nearly half from 15 to seven and the number in Dartford fell from 12 to nine.

'A lot of men have no one to speak to, they might not want to cry in front of their parents...'

Claire Fry, a mum from Maidstone, lost her son Tommy Thwaites, aged 25, after he battled his demons for four years.

The former Valley Park pupil, who dreamed of working on a cruise ship was stabbed by a gang in a nightclub in 2015, after receiving abuse about his sexuality. Afterwards, his mental health began to deteriorate.

His family vowed to improve mental health services and she has since set up a charity in Tommy's memory and her first project, which she is working on with family friend Mark Allan, is to install a rainbow coloured 'chatty bench' in Maidstone, where strangers can talk to each other.

The project got approval this week from Maidstone council and Miss Fry and Mr Allan hopes it can spread to other cities.

She passionately believes talking about your problems can help prevent suicide but services also need to be overhauled.

She said: "There should be more consistency in terms of the staff, there should be one crisis co-ordinator, and if someone misses an appointment that should be followed up. There should be more psychiatric units."

Miss Fry says she has called he suicide hotline number, not because she felt she was going to commit suicide but to speak to someone.

"It makes me feel I'm not alone. I sometimes need to talk and I have to pick up the phone to call the suicide hotline, I felt I was going crazy," she said.

Tommy was one of four sons and Miss Fry says men often finder it harder to speak about their feelings.

She said: "A lot of men have no one to speak to, they might not want to sit and cry in front of their parents or their siblings."

Miss Fry's belief that mental health services should be improved were echoed by charity Mind.

Vicki Nash, head of policy and campaigns at Mind, said: “We are extremely concerned to see that the suicide rates in England and Wales have continued to rise, with men aged 45-49 remaining at the highest risk of suicide in 2019.

“The reasons someone might choose to end their own life are many and complex, but what we’re sure of is that even one suicide is one too many. We lose several thousand people to suicide each year and more research is needed.

“Not all suicides are mental health-related but many are, and we know that a significant proportion of people who take their own lives have asked for support for their mental health within the last 12 months, which means that services are failing people when they need help the most.

"With more and more people seeking support for their mental health, it is absolutely crucial that services are equipped to meet the demand.

'The reasons someone might choose to end their own life are many and complex...'

"No one in touch with services, asking for help, should reach the point of taking their own life. This is why suicide prevention is a key component of public health and UK Government need to ensure both this and public mental health is prioritised in its reorganising of public health institutions.

“Covid-19 is affecting all our lives and those of us already living with mental health problems are facing extra challenges too.

"The economic and social consequences from the pandemic will continue to impact on the mental health and wellbeing of the population, and so both UK and Welsh Governments need to ensure they are prioritising mental health and suicide prevention in their plans.”

Michael Bond, dad to school boy Matthew Mackell, who died in Tunbridge Wells in May, joined Miss Fry in urging people who are struggling to speak to friends and family.

Matthew Mackell took his own life aged 17
Matthew Mackell took his own life aged 17

The Skinners' Kent Academy pupil, 17, took his own life during lockdown after feeling anxious about his exam results and his future.

His dad, speaking about possible reasons for the rise in numbers, said: "I think it's a lot to do with social media, there's so much pressure on youngsters to fit in.

"You could picture him growing up and you could see him taking pride in his appearance, I would never have thought he would do that.

"I wish I asked Matty more, I wish I sat down and said 'tell me about yourself.'" Matthew was one of three brothers.

During Mental Health Awareness Week, Mr Bond has urged people to open up and is now following his own advice.

"I do think men don't talk and I am one of them. I have been on Facebook and I have opened up about my childhood." Mr Bond has also spoken to other grieving families.

"It's to feel you're not alone, I have heard their stories and I'm feeling the same," he said.

As to why there has been a sudden jump in Maidstone, there are no clear reasons. KentOnline asked Maidstone and Mid-Kent Mind to comment on the possible reasons but the charity were unable to. Kent and Medway CCG were also approached to comment on the reasons.

Priority House, with acute inpatient mental health wards, is based in Maidstone and a new 65-bed mental health hospital was opened in autumn 2018 by Cygnet Health Care.

'I do think men don't talk and I'm one of them...'

However, Cygnet has confirmed there have been no suicides linked to the hospital and the ONS figures reflect where the person lives, rather than where they died.

In April, a free mental health text service was set up for those who are struggling to cope and need immediate help. It is part of the Release the Pressure campaign and funded by Kent and Medway Sustainability and Transformation Partnership, a collaboration between council and NHS organisations.

To mark World Suicide Prevention Day, people are being reminded to use the service.

By texting 'Kent' or 'Medway' to 85258, you will start a conversation with a trained and experienced volunteer who can give support at any time. Since the text service was launched, the partnership has "supported 750 conversations locally".

Lauretta Kavanagh, mental health programme director for the NHS Kent and Medway Clinical Commissioning Group, said: “Every life lost to suicide is a tragedy. It has terrible and long-lasting repercussions for families and friends and we must work even harder to reach people at risk of suicide with the support they need.

“We will now be investigating the recently released 2019 figures for suicide with partners from the Kent and Medway Suicide Prevention Steering Group as part of our work together to reduce the numbers of individuals losing their lives in this way."

“There are also many community groups and projects which have received funding from the Kent and Medway Sustainability and Transformation Partnership, a collaboration between Kent County Council, Medway Council, Kent and Medway CCG, Kent and Medway Partnership Trust and all the NHS organisations across Kent and Medway who can provide support."

Tommy's Rainbow Trust, launched by Miss Fry is February, is fundraising for the 'chatty bench'. To help, go to tinyurl.com/KMchattybench

If you are struggling with mental health issues you can contact Kent County Council's support team 24/7. For details click here.

For confidential support on an emotional issue, call Samaritans on 116 123 at any time.

You can also email, text or write them a letter. Click here to find out more.

Read more: All the latest news from Maidstone

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