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Threat of harassment and abuse forces LGBT people in Kent to 'blend in' to feel safe

For a trans woman like Shea, facing abusive comments, being spat at and even having her genitals grabbed is the norm.

This is one of many stories shared with KentOnline from members of the LGBT community, who fear people shouting abuse, stalking them and harassing them at work.

Thousands marching through Canterbury for Pride
Thousands marching through Canterbury for Pride

Incidents often go unreported as many LGBT people in the county try to hide who they are so they feel safe in public.

A recent FOI revealed 1,688 crimes against sexual minorities were investigated by Kent Police over the last three years, including 366 in Medway.

Thanet has the second highest number of investigations, with 206 cases in the last three years while Sevenoaks had the lowest at 70.

Between 2018 and 2019, Kent's investigated incidents dropped from 609 to 533 overall, increasing in six areas and dropping in six others. In 2020 investigated cases rose to 546.

Nationally, reports of hate crimes against LGBT people reached their peak in 2019 since Home Office records began in 2011. Reports totalled 14,491 against sexual minorities and 2,333 against transgender people in 2019 across the UK.

Although, hate crimes due to sexual orientation rose 25%, transgender people have seen the largest rise in hate crimes against any minority group at 37% in 2019.

Shea Coffey, Medway Pride Radio Presenter
Shea Coffey, Medway Pride Radio Presenter

Shea

Harassment is not uncommon to Shea Coffey - from name calling to being spat at, to once having someone go to grab her genitals, this is life for a trans woman in Kent.

Shea, 46, said: "I think almost everyone in the community has had verbal harassment, it's a problem wherever you go. Hostility has definitely grown in the last few years.

"Trans news stories have become something of an entertainment in the media. We're projected as mentally ill, sexual predators, gay people in total denial or men out to erase lesbians.

"This has led to an incredibly hostile culture that almost legitimises attacks on trans folks. When these stories run people get hurt, and I don't mean sore feelings. I know of trans people who barely leave their homes."

Dover Pride event at Dover Town Centre. Picture: Alan Langley
Dover Pride event at Dover Town Centre. Picture: Alan Langley

Even with the public job as station manager of Medway Pride Radio, Shea knows precautions are necessary to stay safe.

She added: "I think the idea of a trans woman for some is a person flouncing around in a ballgown. The reality is very different.

"I dress full time but it's usually women's jeans t-shirts and sneakers. I pull my hair back and I rarely get a second look, but then I call this boy mode.

"But if I put on high heeled boots, something more feminine or make-up, then the trouble might start. Like many trans women I dress down and change when I get to where I am going.

"Hiding definitely has an impact on my mental health. For me it has got to the stage where the hiding is worse.

"We should not have to be fearful and try to hide. But here is the reality, lots of groups, not just the LGBTQIA+ have issues when travelling. It's just easier to hide your gender or sexuality than it is to hide, say your skin colour."

Graysen Hall
Graysen Hall

Graysen

Graysen Hall identifies as queer and trans non-binary and is no stranger to hurtful comments.

On occasions people have commented on hand holding and other incidents which have made LGBT people like Graysen, feel unsafe and degraded.

In one frightening incident, Greysen was walking along Faversham High Street as a man stormed towards and shouted '******* queer ****.'

Frozen with confusion and shock, Graysen was later glad for not reacting, suspecting the incident could have easily escalated physically.

In another incident outside of Kent in Eastbourne, Graysen was walking to a hotel wearing a dress and a group of young men began to follow and hurl abuse - only to disappear when the crowds became too dense.

Graysen said: "I often would wear a dress in the house and then if we were going out, I would get changed.

"It's not that I don't feel comfortable, I don't feel safe based on the judgements and actions of other people. My partner shouldn't have to feel like I need protecting just walking around in my local area or elsewhere.

"The police were actually really good (about the Faversham incident). I was quite surprised because a lot of people I know have had experience of the police in these kinds of situations and it hasn't been all that positive. But they did take it seriously."

Often, Graysen is unsure how to judge how much to hide at any given time as exposing as queer in sexuality, non-binary and transgender can invite different forms of hostility.

They added: "When you're taught to be proud, to be proud of who you are and then you're being told you shouldn't do that - it feels contradictory. Be yourself but not like that. So you lie to people or you lie by omission.

"It makes me feel like I'm doing the wrong thing no matter what I do. If I feel like I have to justify my existence to someone - that's not fair on me or any non-binary trans person. But if I don't explain myself, I'm not being visible. Because of my work as a LGBT+ service development manager I do often feel a responsibility to be an educational source."

Benjamin Carr, director at Kent Pride
Benjamin Carr, director at Kent Pride

Benjamin

As a gay man, Benjamin Carr, 28, often finds himself approached while out in bars or in public questioned if he 'looks gay' - and often it's uncertain how unsafe the situation will become.

Wearing a particular shirt or nail polish much of the time isn't worth the confrontation, but Benjamin says hiding is 'awful' all the same.

As the project director at Kent Pride, he said: "Once, outside of Aldi in Canterbury my partner and I were walking and were approached by two middle aged mums with children and prams and were told to stop.

"They said we were an awful example for their kids and that it was 'disgusting' what we were doing. We weren't even kissing or hugging, we were just holding hands.

Benjamin Carr, director at Kent Pride
Benjamin Carr, director at Kent Pride

"We now no longer hold hands in public because the aggravation isn't worth it."

While working at a bar and restaurant in Canterbury, bosses told him not to 'seem gay at work' and he was forced to allow homophobic customers to continue their rants at him while on shift. He quit this job as the abuse became too much.

He added: "Homophobia happens in the workplace far more than people realise and it is often protected.

"In every job I've worked at in Kent, I've always kept my sexuality a secret for at least a few weeks until I know it's okay. It has not always been okay and I have had to leave jobs for it."

Meeting of the Kent Pride Board on harassment to LGBT people
Meeting of the Kent Pride Board on harassment to LGBT people

Kent Pride

With stories like these - and some worse - increasingly being sent to local community organisation, Kent Pride, they held meetings over the last few weeks discussing how to tackle the issue.

The Kent Pride Board decided to contact Kent Police with their concerns. It is hoped building their network of local LGBT people will help get their voices heard across different sectors.

Edd Withers, chief executive of Kent Pride, said: "People contact the organisation's all the time asking for support reporting what's happened to them with various levels of intensity from violence to people feeling stressed out by names they're being called online.

"There does appear to have been, over the last four or five years, a steady increase in people speaking about their experiences of homophobic abuse in person and online. I don't think more people are speaking out about it, I think that more people are experiencing it.

Letter sent to Kent Police from the Kent Pride Board
Letter sent to Kent Police from the Kent Pride Board

"People are probably realising it's very difficult for them to be punished for these crimes. There are no ramifications for them. That leads to a cycle of it increasing.

"I would like to see more definitive action taken against people who use hate speech and for it to be made more public when the action is taken, so that other people can see what that person did is wrong as well as more action taken against the people who use this speech online.

"We also need more education which starts from school age outwards around the topic of hate speech. Lots of people out there still don't fully understand what hate speech is and the difference between saying something hateful and hate speech, these concepts around what protected characteristics are and why they exist."

WATCH: Edd Withers, chief executive of Kent Pride, talks about harassment and organising the community group

What have Police and Crime Comissioner candidates pledged?

With Police and Crime Comissioner elections coming up on May 6, we approached each of the candidates to ask what can be done to tackle harassment of LGBT people.

Matthew Scott, Conservative candidate and current PCC, said: “I take complaints about harassment and hate crimes seriously, because they do have a profound impact on the victims. My team and I have worked with the Police to ensure that there is support available.

"And we work with the CPS and other agencies to ensure that the criminal justice service as a whole improves the service they offer to victims and witnesses - by getting more cases of all types to court. I will ask the Local Criminal Justice Board to look at this specifically and see what can be done to boost confidence.

“My office also established what we believed at the time to be the first Hate Crime Advocate service in the country - someone who is on hand to provide advice and guidance to victims of hate crimes, whether there is a prosecution or not. I would always encourage people to report their experiences to the Police, and to contact Victim Support Kent if they need help.”

Matthew Scott Kent Police and Crime Commissioner
Matthew Scott Kent Police and Crime Commissioner

Graham Colley, LibDem Candidate, said: "Whilst those who are a danger to society should be imprisoned, it is the 'hate' that has to be resolved ,which is why, for many hate crimes, including LGBT harassment, restorative justice is a better way forward. Punishment, alone just increases the ‘hate’ in the perpetrator."

The LibDem Candidate also hopes his proposal for community policing will aid the issue of hate crime.

If elected, he hopes to make community officers the visible professional representative of the local community, aside from just another bobby on the beat, getting to know working directly with the local community to tackle problems.

Lola Oyewusi, Labour candidate for Kent's PCC, said: "I'm proud that one of my pledges is to truly have a police force for all. That includes making sure the LGBT+ community feel safe here in Kent.

"If I'm elected I will be happy to meet with members of the LGBT community from across Kent to see how to make them feel safe and not under threat. The potential solutions will need good partnership working between the police, councils and the voluntary sector.

Graham Colley, Liberal Democrat candidate for Kent PCC
Graham Colley, Liberal Democrat candidate for Kent PCC

"Where individuals are found guilty of hate crime they should feel the full weight of the criminal justice system."

As for what Kent Police are doing now, Ch Insp Matthew Burbeck of the Partnerships and Communities Team, said: "It is extremely important to us that victims don’t suffer in silence.

"We want everyone to feel safe and supported in our county and have introduced a number of measures including drop-in centres, educational workshops and the use of the True Vision website to encourage reporting, and the feedback on these has been positive.

"We regularly support LGBT events across the county and have Community Liaison Officers who work within the community to encourage people to report hate crimes in the knowledge that they will receive a professional and understanding response. "Officers also work closely with partner agencies to promote a greater understanding of hate crime and how to report it."

If you need help reporting a hate crime or support, you can contact Victim Support on 0808 168 9276 from 08.00-16.00 Monday to Friday, the out of hours line on 0808 168 9111 or via live chat, email or web form from https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/resources/kent/

To get the latest updates in ongoing cases, police appeals and criminals put behind bars, click here

Read more: All the latest news from Kent

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