Published: 00:00, 01 November 2018
It was nice to show what I am about against Bradford last Saturday.
We were smiling like we were kids again after the 4-0 win and it was enjoyable out there.
It should be like that week in, week out and that had been missing. We want to be having fun on the pitch.
I enjoyed all of it, setting up Tom Eaves with a few chances and a cross over the centre-back’s head was nice but there is no feeling that compares to scoring.
I got a few lucky ricochets leading up to my goal but I took the shot well and that was great, especially doing it in front of the Rainham End.
I put a few crosses in for Tom and the one I put across the box he should have scored. I don’t know how he hit the bar! He missed the easiest ones and scored the hardest.
We won, though, so that is all that matters. I felt like I showed the management why I deserve to be here and got to show the fans what I can do.
This is a good platform to build on now, to get a good run of games and put some performances in.
It had been a bad week before the match, performances hadn’t been great for a while but I am my own harshest critic.
I don’t need anyone to tell me when it isn’t good enough, I know, but the gaffer talked to me, we cleared a few things up and I went out to try and impress.
I am never someone to sulk about things. I have never done that since I was a kid but that is the best way to respond, to do it on the pitch and then turn around and say ‘there you go’.
The atmosphere after the win is completely different now, not that we weren’t positive before, but maybe there was an air of anxiety.
Everyone is buzzing now and thinking we can go on a run. The gaffer said some nice things afterwards and I appreciate that. Football is tough but if you give 110% that is all the manager is asking for.
My pace is a nice asset to have and nobody here at the club was quicker than me in pre-season.
When I was under-8 and under-9 I was never a speedster but when I got to 13-14, I just got quicker and quicker.
I don’t know where it came from. I have never trained to be fast and never thought I was fast until I started to run away from people.
Pace is something you can’t defend, if someone pushes the ball behind you and makes it a race, then there is nothing that you can do apart from beating them in that race. It’s a good thing to have.
As a footballer you definitely have to develop a thick skin because you will hear people saying things about you left, right and centre but you get that from a young age anyway.
Only a certain amount of people make it, there are things you have to push to the back of your mind, teachers even.
You have to have that belief that you will do it.
There was never a time where I didn’t think I would make it but there were many times where people would say to me that it wouldn’t happen, without even seeing me kick a ball.
I remember in Year 6 a teacher went around asking everyone in my class what we wanted to be when we grew up. One boy said astronaut and she said ‘yes, that’s possible’ and I said ‘footballer’ and everyone started laughing, she then said ‘but if you couldn’t be a footballer what would you do?’
I personally think it’s harder to be an astronaut! There was always talk about what I would do and planting that seed that it might not happen.
You do have to be mindful and have a back-up plan but if you believe in your head it’s going to happen and you are good enough, then you can do it.
I was always focused from a young age on football but I did get good school grades just in case!