Published: 12:04, 06 December 2021
| Updated: 12:06, 06 December 2021
Sheppey's serial wannabe MP Mad Mike Young claims he was snubbed by the 10 other candidates when he offered them free bananas at the Old Bexley and Sidcup by-election.
The veteran member of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party said: "Remarkably, at the count not a single person would accept my proffered bananas and I was left with a briefcase full of the wonderful yellow fruit."
At every election he traditionally distributes bananas to his political rivals as a gesture of goodwill.
He added: "Due to the weather, my campaign was heavily concentrated in cosy pubs where local drinkers readily approached me and my team for information."
He admitted: "I was stunned when the numbers of votes were announced to realise that I had come eleventh from top in a field of eleven candidates. My tally of 94 was up by 100% of the none I had ever had there before."
Mike, 70, a community centre caretaker from Minster, said: "My final thoughts are: I came; I saw; I conquered; I went home."
Thursday's by-election followed the death of James Brokenshire who had been Conservative MP for the constituency since 2010. The seat was held by the Conservatives but with a reduced majority.
Mad Mike's record of failing to win remains unbroken.
He has lost six general elections and “innumerable” borough and county elections although he did serve on Minster parish council from 2003 to 2015.
He has also handed out “million pound notes” picked from his “money tree” which he has promised will become legal tender if his party ever wins power.
The true blue constituency was created in 1983 and has only elected Conservative MPs. For 18 years it was represented by former Prime Minister Edward Heath who had represented the area’s previous constituencies.
Also standing were: Elaine Cheeseman (English Democrat); Daniel Francis (Labour); Louie French (Conservative); Richard Hewison (Rejoin EU); David Kurten (Heritage); John Poynton, (Ukip); Simone Reynolds (Liberal Democrats); Richard Tice (Reform UK) and Carol Valinejad (CPA).