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Coronavirus Kent: Recovering alcoholic from Broadstairs urges addicts not to let lockdown become an excuse to drink

A recovering alcoholic once so desperate for a drink he downed hand sanitiser from his hospital bedside warns the pandemic will give many addicts the perfect excuse to hit the bottle.

Toby Winson, from Broadstairs, admits during his own descent into alcoholism he would get drunk simply because the sun was out, or for something as insignificant as fireworks going off outside.

Toby Winson is volunteering during the Covid-19 crisis
Toby Winson is volunteering during the Covid-19 crisis

The 30-year-old, who has been sober for almost four years, says for an addict, anything could lead to a binge so a global pandemic will be, for some, the biggest excuse to turn to alcohol.

"It's a dangerous time," the former Simon Langton Grammar School pupil said.

"For someone teetering on the brink of addiction or someone in recovery this is the perfect excuse for them.

"This whole situation is like Christmas come early for the addictive side of an addict's brain.

"Years ago, I would have used this isolation period as one big excuse to drink.

"But it doesn’t have to be. You can use it to give you the best chance moving forward."

Toby, who was an alcoholic by the age of 21, has come a long way since booze almost killed him.

He has just finished a six-month stint working at ITV in Leeds and is in the running for a traineeship at the television company. He also does talks in schools, speaking to pupils about his addiction.

During lockdown he is keeping busy studying for his journalism qualifications while also volunteering for the NHS and making food deliveries for Broadstairs charity The Gap Project.

It's a far cry from where he was eight years ago, in the grips of the near-fatal alcoholism which would see him reaching for a bottle of vodka at 5.30am just so he could get out of bed.

He became so dependent on alcohol that when he tried to go cold turkey he suffered delirium tremens - a severe withdrawal to alcohol - which saw him experiencing extreme hallucinations.

When he was being weaned off alcohol in hospital during one of his numerous admissions, desperate Toby drank half-a-litre of hand wash at the end of his bed due to its 98% alcohol content.

But the bright graduate, who managed to get a 2:1 degree despite being drunk every day at university, had the loving support of his family and one day in August 2016, he had his last drink.

Toby Winson at the worst point of his alcoholism when his skin had turned yellow due to liver disease
Toby Winson at the worst point of his alcoholism when his skin had turned yellow due to liver disease

Yet despite turning his life around, he is still in recovery and says during lockdown keeping busy and talking to people is crucial.

"I don't really get cravings anymore but I have to be prepared for it," he admits.

"If I woke up tomorrow and wanted to drink, I'd tell three, four, five people about it and the craving would pass.

"It's a weight off my shoulders to share it.

"It's weird; there's me and then there's the addictive part of my brain.

"The addictive part is so conniving - it's like the angel and devil on your shoulders.

'Don’t try and fight the battle of addiction in your head on your own' - Toby Winson

"Telling someone I have a craving puts it in perspective. It's not a dirty little secret."

Toby, who charts his journey through his blog, Recovery Boy, says telling someone you have a craving is the bravest thing you can do.

"Talking is such a powerful thing," he said.

"During isolation talk to as many people as possible - even if you are on your own, make sure you are phoning friends and family.

"It is so important that you say how you are feeling out loud to another human being.

"Don’t try and fight the battle of addiction in your head on your own."

Toby says routine and exercise is also important; he does one stint outdoors and one indoors in the evenings.

"It stops me from having too much time on my hands, which could be dangerous," he admits.

Toby with his beloved dog Simba
Toby with his beloved dog Simba

Toby is also volunteering, meaning any extra hours he has he puts to good use giving something back to the NHS, which saved his life when he had liver disease.

"For anyone battling addiction, you can use this time to build solid foundations for your recovery," he said.

"When I was at rock bottom and had lost every last ounce of my self worth, I didn’t know where to begin to try to claw some of it back.

"I have always said that achieving the smallest of goals is a huge part of me staying sober. I began with exercise and walking my dog.

"Little things I was introducing in to my routine which made me feel ‘normal’ again.

"The point I’m trying to make is, if you are an addict and struggling right now, help yourself by helping other people.

"Honestly, it will end up helping you more than them. You have the perfect opportunity to really help others by volunteering to help the NHS, and build your own self worth up at the same time.

"There are even opportunities to help others from the safety of your home, by offering to phone the most vulnerable.

"For an addict, this current scenario is one big excuse to use - but it really doesn't have to be."

Toby says anyone needing support can get in touch at recoveryboy.blog/

There are services available across Kent for those struggling with addiction.

Those living in Ashford, Canterbury, Dover, Swale, Thanet, and Folkestone and Hythe can call the Forward Trust on 0300 1231186 or click here.

Those in Dartford, Gravesham and Swanley, Maidstone, Sevenoaks, Tunbridge Wells, and Tonbridge and Malling can call The First Step Team on 0330 1281113 or click here.

For the latest coronavirus news and advice, click here.

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