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Blogger Paul Murray says not enough is being done to help men with depression

New figures from the NHS reveal the annual number of deaths among mental health patients has jumped by 21% over the last three years.

Blogger and depressive Paul Murray thinks not enough is being done to help men suffering from mental health issues.

For Paul, it started during his teenage years.

Paul Murray of Miller Close, Kemsley, blogs about depression. Picture: Chris Davey
Paul Murray of Miller Close, Kemsley, blogs about depression. Picture: Chris Davey

While studying at Sittingbourne Community College, he felt a sense of isolation come creeping up on him; akin to Sylvia Plath’s Bell Jar being placed over his head – invisible to others, yet suffocating to him.

Paul, now 21, dropped out of school when he was 13 and was schooled by his parents, Steve and Marion, from the family home in Miller Close, Kemsley.

He has now been on and off medications such as Diazepam and Sertraline for years as he tries to bring his depression under control, but it’s no easy battle and one that without his parents’ help, he would be struggling to win.

But Paul is lucky to some extent – he is not one of the tens of thousands of men in the UK dealing with depression alone; often afraid to seek help for fear of being sneered at or ostracized.

He said: “There’s definitely a stigma attached.

“Some people think I’m just feeling a bit down like I’m totally depressed.

“I sort of had to hide it because it wasn’t OK to show it to people. But if I were female, people would treat me with more understanding.

“People think women should show their emotions more and perhaps they can more easily get support.”

This is why Paul thinks the issue of men and mental health is so problematic – they are often not getting the help they need as they are less frequently diagnosed.

National mental health charity Mind admits this is a problem and is working to combat this.

Head of information at Mind, Stephen Buckley
Head of information at Mind, Stephen Buckley

Its head of information Stephen Buckley said: “Men and women can react to depression quite differently. Women are more likely to have symptoms such as tearfulness and low mood.

“Men are more likely to externalise symptoms or ‘act out’, displaying aches and pains or becoming angry and frustrated, rather than being emotional or tearful.

“Mind found that men try to find ways of dealing with their problems independently rather than reaching out and sharing their problems.

“Our research showed that almost a third of men would be embarrassed about seeking help for a mental health problem and less than a quarter of men would visit their GP if they felt down for more than two weeks, in comparison to a third of women.

“Issues such as self-stigmatisation, or the idea that ‘real men don’t cry’, can prevent men from accessing the help that they need.”

Last year, the charity launched Get Set To Go, which through funding from Sport England is using sporting activities to reach-out to primarily men and encourage them to bond and open-up to one another.

But Paul thinks more cash needs to come from the NHS to pay for counselling targeted at men, adding: “For example, when I went to the doctor’s they sent me for six weeks of counselling and it just wasn’t enough.”

Data from the Mental Health Foundation show women are more likely than men to have a problem and almost twice as likely to be diagnosed with anxiety disorders.

Yet in 2013, 6,233 suicides were recorded in the UK for the population of people aged 15 or above – 78% of these were male and 22% were female.

Are you depressed? Get in touch with Mind through their helpline on 0300 1233393.

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