When I hear the phrase steampunk, I think of Victorian fashion, Industrial Revolution-era machinery and post-apocalyptic ruins.

So when I visited the Greedy Goose in King’s Hill, which describes itself a steampunk-themed restaurant, I was surprised to find a swanky wine bar that didn’t have a sniff of the 19th century about it.

We arrived at 10am on a Saturday and had no problem being seated at one of the high tables as there was only one other group already inside.

I thought this might be a bad sign, but over the next 20 minutes or so the place filled up with families, couples and groups of women meeting for brunch, so I relaxed - it must be good if customers were coming in thick and fast, right?

Our order was taken quickly and while we waited for our food I had a look around in the hopes of uncovering some steampunk decor.

I found nothing. The restaurant was decorated beautifully, with floral arches, neon lights and quirky table centrepieces, but it all screamed high-end wine bar rather than steampunk.

The problem is that this place doesn’t know what it wants to be. It’s described as a steampunk restaurant online, but it’s decorated like a wine and cocktail bar and there’s a glass sign that mentions tapas and a deli - also nowhere to be seen.

Anyway, enough about the interiors. This is Eat My Words, after all, not Grand Designs.

For my breakfast, I ordered avocado, mushroom and fried egg on toast and it looked great, a big portion with lots of colour and texture.

Unfortunately, it was very much a case of style over substance.

I cut into the middle of my fried egg, hoping for an oozing golden yolk, but sadly it was dry and overcooked.

The avocado beneath was chopped into tiny pieces, rather than smashed or sliced, and was completely bland.

I love avocado, but it needs a sprinkling of salt and pepper and dash of lemon or lime juice to bring it to life, and this had practically no seasoning whatsoever.

My partner ordered scrambled eggs on toast and was initially disappointed to see that his breakfast looked smaller and less exciting than mine.

However, he soon changed his tune when we realised that it was considerably tastier. The eggs were creamy, well-cooked and, unlike mine, had been given a healthy dose of pepper.

The hash browns were golden and crispy and, although we ordered them as a side dish, they actually turned out to be my favourite part.

As we tucked in, we noticed that the staff, while friendly and welcoming, seemed to be all over the place.

Their walkie-talkies - which felt OTT for a breakfast service - were buzzing constantly and there seemed to be lots of confusion over where new customers would be seated.

To top it all off, when the bill arrived I noticed that I was charged for an extra egg, which I didn’t ask for and, after the underwhelming taste, I definitely didn’t want to pay for it.

Out of our two meals here, one was tasty while the other was overcooked and flavourless - the very definition of hit-or-miss.

I think the answer here is fine-tuning. The Greedy Goose could be a fantastic addition to the area if it decides what kind of place it wants to be and sticks to it, rather than trying to do too much and letting certain aspects fall by the wayside.

Out of five:

Food: The eggs and avocado on toast was disappointing, but the hash browns and scrambled eggs were decent, so I guess you take a chance with the food here. **

Drink: We had a latte and orange juice, nothing to write home about. The cocktail list looked interesting and the bar was fully stocked, so perhaps it’s worth coming back for an evening tipple. ***

Decor: It was nicely decorated, but not at all what we expected. Where was the steampunk?! ***

Staff: I can’t really complain about the service we received, but I could see other tables having some issues - in fact, one group walked in and then walked straight out again, mumbling something about being forced to sit upstairs. Plus, they did try to charge us for something we didn’t order. ***

Price: It all came to just under £30, but my breakfast (£9) certainly wasn’t worth the cost and, even these days when prices are sky-rocketing all over the place, I still think £6 for two hash browns is too much. **