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Eat My Words: We tried Kent’s top-rated cafe on Tripadvisor, Goose on the Green in Walmer, near Deal

The Goose on the Green in Deal is Tripadvisor’s top-rated cafe in Kent.

One particularly glowing review reads: “The epitome of what a good eating experience should be. Friendly, welcoming and helpful service. Promptly arriving food and drinks which were all excellent. Highly recommended.”

Reporter Max Chesson takes on one of Kent’s most talked about cafes
Reporter Max Chesson takes on one of Kent’s most talked about cafes

That’s a big statement from Andyt6180 and, while I’m not swayed by the opinion of just one person, it’s clear this view forms part of a trend.

Since it opened five-and-a-half years ago, the eatery in The Strand, Walmer - just outside Deal - has climbed its way up the greasy ladder to establish a strong foothold on Kentish cuisine.

Ranked the third best restaurant overall in Kent, and seemingly by far the best cafe in the county, 423 of its 457 reviews fit into the ‘excellent’ category.

And so what better time than a beautiful sunny morning along one of the finest coastlines in the country to try out the cafe that Kent has fallen in love with?

Goose on the Green in Walmer, just outside Deal
Goose on the Green in Walmer, just outside Deal

Tucked away amid a long row of houses, it would be quite easy to miss the Goose on the Green. The grey exterior blends in well with the surroundings.

I actually almost do walk past. It’s only as I see an elderly couple tucking into a full English that I realised this is where I need to be.

I poke my head inside to see old brickwork complimenting the grey panels that line the bottom half of the walls.

There are various clocks, each telling the time of different airports - Heathrow, JFK, Charles De Gaulle and Cancun.

The interior of the cafe makes good use of old brickwork
The interior of the cafe makes good use of old brickwork

It’s a decent look and I get why people love it here. It also appears to be dog-friendly which is a major plus for any business nowadays.

I ask one of the waitresses what everyone else loves to eat here. She tells me that it really does vary – some adore the fry-ups while others prefer the pancakes.

“No matter what though, it always seems like we sell only one thing every day. One day it’ll be this, the next it’ll be that. I think there’s a conspiracy amongst the customers,” she jokes.

With that in mind - and conscious that a reviewing a fry-up won’t offer anything new - I divert my attention to two standout items on the menu.

There’s a vast array of meals to choose from on a weekday
There’s a vast array of meals to choose from on a weekday
Goose on the Green offers a wide variety of drinks
Goose on the Green offers a wide variety of drinks

The Spanish hash with chorizo and the strawberry cheesecake French toast. In theory, a delicate balance between sweet and savoury.

So I bite the bullet and get both - along with a large orange juice - and move my way over to one of the sun-kissed window seats, slightly blinded by the hot gaze of the daylight.

The place is a gentle hive of activity. Next to me an elderly couple take a look at the menu while their little terrier laps up the rays.

I can hear them debating whether or not to get a coffee or a cold drink with their breakfast.

The view from my seat at the cafe on a glorious day
The view from my seat at the cafe on a glorious day

Behind me a young guy has his head down in his laptop, looking as though he’s struggling to comprehend whatever is staring back at him from the screen.

Elsewhere, two middle-aged men appear to be enjoying a morning off work. It’s a peaceful and enjoyable atmosphere.

In next to no time the plates arrive and based on presentation alone I’m looking forward to trying them out.

I start off with the Spanish hash. Hiding behind the fried eggs are bits of potato, peppers, tomato and chorizo. It’s a handsome meal.

The Spanish hash with chorizo came out promptly but lacked the kick desired
The Spanish hash with chorizo came out promptly but lacked the kick desired

The dominant flavours are the potato and the eggs. I find that with each bite I crave the kick of spice that could ignite this dish.

It’s slightly infuriating as you can tell that from the presentation and texture of the food that there is so much potential to be had.

It’s not entirely bland and it’s clearly fresh - but a pinch of salt and some paprika could really make all the difference.

I can see the ingredients in there so surely the taste will be buried deep. It just needs enhancing, it needs life.

The strawberry cheesecake French toast
The strawberry cheesecake French toast

I move to the French toast. I wasn’t quite sure what a strawberry cheesecake rendition of this meal would look like but it wasn’t this.

The strawberry sauce that decorates the plate is very pretty and in a small portion is fairly tasty.

But you don’t get a choice as to how much comes with each bite and for every bland bite of toast, there’s a strawberry-tasting assault on the tastebuds.

Truth be told, I’m left a bit disappointed. For somewhere that seems to be every man and his dog’s favourite seaside cafe, it really hasn’t left me wanting more.

The meal overall cost £21.95 and came in decent sized portions
The meal overall cost £21.95 and came in decent sized portions

I look back at Tripadvisor to see the most recent ‘terrible’ review left by a disgruntled customer in February.

“Been in a few times and afraid to say the food is 100% overrated and very expensive” it reads.

The management are clearly very proactive though, as they have responded to the review offering the customer and a friend a free meal.

At its core, this is a quaint cafe with a good heart and there’s every chance I’ve caught them on an off-day.

People clearly love it. Even some of my colleagues back in the office reaffirmed their affection for the eatery, praising the full English in particular. No doubt the Goose on the Green will be popular for many years to come.

Maybe my judgement has been clouded somewhat by my favourite places to grab breakfast. The Refectory Kitchen in Canterbury or typical greasy spoon Milton Cafe in Sittingbourne come to mind.

It’s just not what I expected from the “best cafe” in Kent. Next time, I’ll stick to a fry-up.

Out of five:

Food: The main thing an eatery needs to do is satisfy customers with the food on offer. Unfortunately, for me, it failed to live up to the hype. **

Drink: Orange juice is hard to knock but there was a vast range of beverages on offer that will no doubt quench your thirst. Belgian white hot chocolate would be gorgeous on a winter’s day. ****

Decor: This is one of those places that is nice to be in but isn’t memorable when you leave. Nothing wrong with that as long as it’s clean - and it was. ***

Staff: The staff were the best part of the experience - very friendly and welcoming. The owners should be proud to have such a delightful workforce. *****

Price: £21.95 for two decent-sized portions and a large orange juice isn’t the cheapest you’ll find – but if you enjoy the food, it’s a steal. ****

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