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A 76-year-old man who made the decision to stop receiving treatment after contracting Covid-19 was able to say goodbye to his family before he died.
Terry Dray, of Strood, spoke to his son on the phone and FaceTimed his wife telling them "the world would carry on without him" before passing away at Medway Maritime Hospital yesterday.
He had been suffering with body aches, headaches and diarrhea in the days and weeks leading up to his admission to hospital, which happened on Tuesday after his wife, Elizabeth, called an ambulance when he fell out of bed and couldn't get back up.
On Thursday, Terry was moved to a high-dependency ward, and was put on oxygen to help him breathe. But he later decided he did not want to wear the mask any longer – he wanted his suffering to end.
Before he passed away, Terry got the chance to speak to his wife of 46 years, son and best friend to say goodbye.
Son Ian said: "He felt he wouldn't be able to interact with his grandchildren, Poppy and Jack, like he wanted to – he had a stroke three years ago which he recovered from but it had still affected him – he used to be exceptionally mobile.
"It must be incredibly painful having all that oxygen forced into your lungs. They had given him morphine on the Thursday to help him sleep but he didn't want any more.
"It was the saving grace that I got to speak to him – he told me not to worry, the world would carry on without him. He wouldn't want anyone to fuss."
Ian's wife Briony used to be a nurse on the very ward Terry was on, so spoke to her friends and made sure someone held his hand in his final moments.
Following her husband's death, Elizabeth is now having to self-isolate so Ian wasn't able to hug his mum to comfort her. So instead, he drove from his Higham home and waved from a distance and has been speaking to her on FaceTime.
The family have described Terry, who was born in Strood and went to Chatham Technical School for Boys – now Holcombe Grammar School – as "witty, with an exceptionally dry sense of humour, very helpful, loving and caring".
When he was 14, Terry became part of Rochester Cathedral choir and was also a big fan of hockey, which he played for Rochester and Gillingham into his 40s.
Ian, 41, said: "He loved music and had an eclectic taste – everything from the Rolling Stones to Vivaldi."
He began his working life at Coutts bank in London, but found he was overlooked for promotions due to not having being privately educated, and so began working for Natwest instead.
After working in several branches around Kent, Terry's career then took a totally different direction – wine. He became a merchant for a German company before moving into a partnership in Watford and became a self-employed seller, working alone in the early 1990s.
Terry loved his job so much that he worked well into his retirement, making many good friends while hosting wine-tasting sessions. He hosted his last session just weeks before he fell ill.
Ian said: "He didn't work because he had to, but because he wanted to and still had the mental capability to do so."
He was also a member of Hoo St Weburgh Lodge Freemasonry for more than 50 years, helping support charities from far and wide.
His only son, Ian, who he spoke to most days, said: "He always gave people advice and helped them. He was always mending things. When I was young, we didn't have much money and so for my first bike my dad found one in an old skip and fixed it up for me. And we have a student house we rent out and he would always ask if there was any repairs which needed doing."
Ian added: "I'm really happy he got to be at my wedding and my two children's christenings, and I'll remember him helping me pass my driving test and moving into my new house – carrying beds at 73 years old.
"It's lovely because I now live in my parents' old house in Higham so we're surrounded by lots of things he made and fixed."
Last night, Ian and Terry's family and good friends raised a glass and had a drink to the father, grandfather and friend, "who never gave up on anything or anyone - and if he started something, would see it right through to the end."
