Meet Crazy Camo Chieftain Tank Commander, aka: Camo.

The 43-year-old holiday camp worker from Oak Lane, Minster, contacted the Times Guardian desperate to level things up for the boys after seeing last week’s Page Three girl send-up.

Although lacking a visible six-pack, there’s no doubting the maintenance man’s eye-catching credentials.

If his face doesn’t stop people in their tracks, his name will.

Formerly plain-old Ant Bailey, Camo obtained his new monicker via deed poll in 2010.

He was a tank driving instructor for a promotions firm near Silverstone, involved in the making of promotional videos and car crushing displays.

A stage name was needed and Crazy Camo Chieftain Tank Commander was born – it even says it on his bank card.

“I’ve always been into tanks,” he said. “Even when I played Scrabble as a kid I always had to get the word “tank” in.

“I identify those vehicles with strength, and everyone wants to be strong, don’t they?”

The tattoos which take up half his face are another story, testament to a serious accident at work in 2007. “I fell through a false concrete floor,” he said.

“It shredded the artery in my left arm and left it hanging off.

“Lying in my hospital bed I saw the film, The Mummy.

“The warriors protecting the mummy had tattoos, so I decided to get some down the left-hand side of my face to help heal my arm and spirit.

“It’s definitely worked, and made me even more stunningly good looking...and modest.

“Seriously though, I’m so grateful to the people who saved my life, and the hospital staff for getting me through that time.”

Southend-born Camo, who’s single, insists despite his slightly menacing countenance, he’s just a regular guy.

“If people give me a sort of concerned look, I just smile which helps put them at their ease,” he said. “A smile goes a long way in life and everyone needs to be a bit more cheerful, which is me all over – cheerful and chatty.”

Crazy Camo Chieftain Tank Commander? He’s a real blast.