A lecturer has released a corny joke book which he hopes will have a charity laughing all the way to the bank.
David Spurling says he first started writing gags to stop students dozing off in class.
He’s accrued reams of rib-ticklers during more than 50 years’ teaching, and now he’s ready to unleash them on the world.
David, of Periwinkle Close, Sittingbourne, who has also had 13 business-related books published, said: “I think students prefer my jokes to reading my text books.
“If you’ve ever tried lecturing at 8.30pm, you need something to keep them awake.”
Corny Jokes contains 30 pages of puns and funnies, not all of which are his own.
The ones he’s proud to put his name to same from years working in education, and could be seen as an acquired taste.
For example: “The definition of an actuary is someone who finds bookkeeping too exciting.”
And if that doesn’t have your sides splitting, what about this familiar-sounding ditty?
“Why wouldn’t the governors employ a cross-eyed teacher? Because he couldn’t control his pupils.”
Grandad-of-one David, who runs Queenborough-based firm Learning Through Co-operation, said his wit, which somehow just “comes to him,” isn’t just about providing personal light relief from the daily stresses and strains.
“Students need a joke,” he said. “If they’re completely tensed-up, they won’t absorb what someone’s telling them. If I hear them laughing, I know they’re relaxed.”
There are a couple of reasons why the 72-year-old will be delighted if the book’s a hit.
Firstly, with all the proceeds going to Emmaus, he will be making money for a worthy homeless charity.
And secondly, as a self-confessed “frustrated stand-up comedian”, he might be asked to perform Corny Jokes in person.
He said the secret to a really good joke is “whether another person can relate to it”, which unfortunately doesn’t include his piano-teacher wife Anthea, 67, for whom David’s comedy departure is no laughing matter.
“She’s not very good on jokes,” he said.
Corny Jokes costs £5 and is available from David’s Learning Through Co-operation office at the Guildhall in High Street, Queenborough.