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Donkey wanted for biblical bash

A donkey
A donkey

by Andy Gray

WANTED: A stubborn beast to lead village biblical celebration.

Must be good with crowds, be able to carry loads and work like a donkey.

Sound interesting? Then Rev Jim Brown would like to hear from you.

Wateringbury Church is looking for a donkey to lead this year's Palm Sunday parade through the village.

The situation became vacant after Jemima, who headed the event for five years, sadly died.

Rev Brown said whoever lands the job will be treading in some fondly remembered footsteps.

He said: "Jemima was a good donkey. Everyone was so sad to hear she had died.

"She led from the front and was never bothered by having about 60 people walking behind her."

Rev Brown joked the new incumbent must be a "born leader" and capable of making the mile-long Easter journey from Nettlestead along Tonbridge Road to the church.

Most importantly of all, the new creature must be "holy" which according to Rev Brown shouldn't be a problem, as donkeys are simply born that way.

He said: "All donkeys have crosses on their back.

"There's a mark that starts from the neck and goes across the shoulders to form a cross.

"So whoever gets the job should at least have one of those."

Churchwardens have so far drawn a blank in their search for a replacement, who must be able to start on the morning of April 17, the date on which Palm Sunday falls this year.

If you own a donkey who has no prior engagements on that day and would like to loan its services to the church for the annual parade, please call 01622 812 148 or 01622 814 776.

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