Young Gillingham defender Matt Fry may only be on loan at Priestfield, but he took Friday night’s 1-0 defeat at Southend to heart.
The West Ham pro (pictured) has yet to taste a win in Gillingham colours, but it was the nature of the latest defeat - Lee Barnard scoring an injury-time winner - that hit him hard.
He said: "It’s absolutely devastating and I can’t believe we didn’t get anything from the game.
"We worked so hard during the 90 minutes and then switched off from a long-ball across. It’s nodded back down and he (Barnard) turns and it’s in.
"I did my best to throw myself in front of it but to turn around and see it go in was horrible."
Fry, 19, is on a rolling month-to-month deal and he’s happy to stay at Priestfield for the foreseeable future, but admits the chance to make it in the Premier League is his number one aim.
He said: "It’s a learning curve for me and really it all depends on what West Ham have in store for me. If I play for Gillingham and do well, I’m hoping to get a new contract at West Ham."