Published: 05:00, 12 May 2022
| Updated: 07:26, 12 May 2022
It's 4.45pm on Tuesday and I have not eaten in almost 24 hours.
All afternoon I had been sat at my desk, shaking with hunger.
Now, at last, I have arrived at Big Boys Pizza in Wincheap, Canterbury, ready to take on a mammoth eating challenge set by my merciless colleagues.
The new restaurant offers a variety of traditional Italian food, including homemade pasta. But there is just one mighty meal on the menu for me - a colossal 20-inch pizza.
"I bet you won't do it!" chuckles owner Amir Masomi when I tell him my ambitious plans.
"It is not meant for one person - it is to be shared between probably four people."
Not on my watch!
The eatery itself, which launched on Monday, is painted in the colours of the Italian flag and the sun is streaming through the large windows onto my table.
Canvas pictures of Italian-looking scenes cover the walls, with a television displaying 'ITALY' in big, bold letters.
It certainly looks different to the traditional greasy spoon Sportsman cafe which previously occupied the building.
The unit has now been bought by Mr Masomi who co-runs the business with three pals.
They all have years of experience running restaurants, including The Old Weavers in St Peter’s Street and Olive Grove in Best Lane.
I scour their impressive menu which not only offers pizza but pasta, burgers, salads and desserts.
But my eyes are immediately drawn to the Big Boys Special, a pizza comprising pepperoni, bacon, Mexican chicken, sausage and red onion.
Sizes range from seven inches to a whopping 20 inches - which I order. For comparison, a large Domino’s pizza is 13.5 inches.
While Mr Masomi couldn't tell me exactly how many calories are in the pizza, he says there are gut-busting 365 in a 20-inch cheese pepperoni slice, which would bring a total of 4,380.
So considering the amount of meat on my Big Boys Special, my suspicions are it's closer to 5,000.
After about 10 minutes, the pizza arrives on a gigantic wooden board and I am dumbstruck by its sheer scale.
I hold up a slice, which is almost the size of my head.
Mr Masomi also brings out homemade garlic and chilli sauces for me to dip my pizza in.
Starting my marathon task at a brisk pace, I consume my first slice in no time at all, enjoying the cocktail of meaty flavours and onion, and buckets of the delicious garlic sauce.
The pizza has a thin, crispy crust which isn't at all greasy like other less-sober experiences I've had.
This is how Brad got on with the huge challenge
Soon I devour a second, a third and in no time at all, half the pizza has disappeared. I'm showing no signs of slowing down and powering through like a squirrel in a nut shop.
Drivers crawling through busy Wincheap are staring at me, which I took as a form of encouragement to complete the challenge.
I take a couple more slices and pause for two minutes for a drink and to catch my breath. Mistake.
The weight of the pizza feels like it has been plummeted into my stomach and, by this point, I'm furiously sweating with a desperation to undo my belt.
There are four slices left, which is slightly more than a quarter of the pizza and I try to give myself a boost of encouragement.
Sweating and groaning but not ready to give up, I slather the delicious garlic sauce over one slice in a desperate attempt to make it more palatable. I take two bites and my now I'm slumping, heavy and tired.
The bloating is too much and after two more nibbles, I officially concede defeat.
I lay back on my chair with my unusually large belly pointing to the ceiling, feeling stuffed and almost depressed.
After about 10 minutes of rest, I eventually shuffle up to the counter where Mr Masomi cries gleefully: "I knew you wouldn't do it!
"I really should've made a bet."
Ratings out of five
Food: The taste of the pizza was absolutely delicious with a crispy crust. *****
Drink: Customers have the chance to choose from a handful of fizzy drinks, still water and juice. There are hopes to eventually get an alcohol licence and a glass of wine would've been nice. ****
Decor: It had a really friendly and warm atmosphere with nods to Italy in the decor. ****
Staff: The staff were really welcoming and helped give the restaurant a welcoming atmosphere. *****
Price: I was really impressed with the price. My 20 inch pizza was £25.95 but for a 13 inch it is £15.95. *****