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‘Was I naive to think I was actually in with a chance of getting Micky Flanagan tickets?’

10 April 2024
‘Was I naive to think I was actually in with a chance of getting Micky Flanagan tickets?’

Secret Thinker was one of many left disappointed after failing to secure tickets for Micky Flanagan’s Kent gig – but was he ever in with a chance?

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‘Given most people don’t give a jot, is it time to rethink the Easter holidays?’

03 April 2024
‘Given most people don’t give a jot, is it time to rethink the Easter holidays?’

Opinion: For some the Easter weekend is a crucial time to reflect but our columnist thinks the whole period is due a rethink for the modern era…

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‘It’s only right the wronged are compensated – but we all end up paying the price’

27 March 2024
‘It’s only right the wronged are compensated – but we all end up paying the price’

It’s only fair for anyone wronged by public bodies to receive compensation, but as Secret Thinker says, we usually end up footing the bill.

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‘Football is being dragged in the gutter – we need zero-tolerance policy to referee abuse’

20 March 2024
‘Football is being dragged in the gutter – we need zero-tolerance policy to referee abuse’

The pace at which football is clamping down on referee abuse is ‘unbelievable’ says Secret Thinker, who is calling for a zero-tolerance approach.

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‘Why should everyone have to fork out because some choose to live on floodplains and cliffs?

13 March 2024
‘Why should everyone have to fork out because some choose to live on floodplains and cliffs?

This week, Secret Thinker bemoans the rocketing cost of insurance – and begrudges having to pay through the nose due to other people’s risky choices.

13

‘It’s amazing what you find during a clear-up – faeces, bones and even a baby!’

06 March 2024
‘It’s amazing what you find during a clear-up – faeces, bones and even a baby!’

This week, Secret Thinker reveals the weird, worrying and downright bizarre items he found during a recent clear-up outside a block of flats.

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‘Drivers are going nowhere fast on smart motorways that are anything but’

28 February 2024
‘Drivers are going nowhere fast on smart motorways that are anything but’

A lack of road infrastructure, the ‘ludicrous’ design of smart motorways and excessive speed restrictions are driving Secret Thinker round the bend.

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‘We all have superstitions, but it’s cause for concern when rituals start ruling your life’

21 February 2024
‘We all have superstitions, but it’s cause for concern when rituals start ruling your life’

From knocking on wood to throwing salt over your shoulder, Secret Thinker considers the quirks most of us have – and when they can become a worry.

1

‘There are bound to be disturbing scenes in any Shakespeare play’

14 February 2024
‘There are bound to be disturbing scenes in any Shakespeare play’

Warnings about disturbing scenes or subjects in plays or on TV is treating us like kids and should be banned, says Secret Thinker.

5

‘Any sympathy I felt for train drivers evaporated long ago – get back to work’

07 February 2024
‘Any sympathy I felt for train drivers evaporated long ago – get back to work’

With passengers subjected to seemingly endless disruption due to train driver strikes, Secret Thinker questions the validity of their gripes.

76

‘Stop pouring cold water on vaping ban – protecting children’s health is right thing to do’

31 January 2024
‘Stop pouring cold water on vaping ban – protecting children’s health is right thing to do’

No sooner had the ban on disposable vapes been announced than the naysayers came out in force – but Secret Thinker says it can only be a good thing.

13

'Call me a sad muppet but a trip to B&Q excites me - DIY is so satisfying'

24 January 2024
'Call me a sad muppet but a trip to B&Q excites me - DIY is so satisfying'

Is there a task more satisfying than chopping wood with an axe? Here, Secret Thinker describes his love of DIY and playing with ‘boys’ toys’.

20

‘Getting our knickers in a twist every time the temperature drops is crazy’

17 January 2024
‘Getting our knickers in a twist every time the temperature drops is crazy’

As the temperature drops, Secret Thinker says the constant barrage of “absurd” weather warnings is counterproductive and “pointless in the extreme”.

26

‘Guessing the next celebrity death – grisly and macabre or a bit of fun?’

10 January 2024
‘Guessing the next celebrity death – grisly and macabre or a bit of fun?’

Who will be the next celebrity to pop their clogs? Secret Thinker felt compelled to make his own predictions on a visit to a pub with a ‘death list’.

13

‘Make it your 2024 resolution to use them – or we’ll lose them’

01 January 2024
‘Make it your 2024 resolution to use them – or we’ll lose them’

Even though Secret Thinker was rudely awoken by clanging bells, he says that we need to make sure we use churches – and pubs – or we’ll lose them.

27

‘It’s sad when things we hold dear become obsolete, but Royal Mail’s days are numbered’

20 December 2023
‘It’s sad when things we hold dear become obsolete, but Royal Mail’s days are numbered’

As service declines and technology takes over, Secret Thinker says it’s only a matter of time before Royal Mail goes the same way as red phone boxes.

42

'Holding climate talks in Dubai is like vegans meeting in an abattoir'

13 December 2023
'Holding climate talks in Dubai is like vegans meeting in an abattoir'

As COP28 in the UAE draws to a close, Secret Thinker expresses his lack of surprise at how much the climate talks have achieved – namely, very little.

13

‘Mark my words – I was right about Boris, and now predict Farage will one day be PM’

06 December 2023
‘Mark my words – I was right about Boris, and now predict Farage will one day be PM’

Secret Thinker was ridiculed when he predicted in 2005 that Boris Johnson would one day become PM - and now he has a similar hunch about Nigel Farage.

98

‘There’s nothing wrong with having faith – but no one should foist their beliefs on others’

29 November 2023
‘There’s nothing wrong with having faith – but no one should foist their beliefs on others’

With religion being used as an excuse for war and atrocities, Secret Thinker explains why he’s happy to remain a non-believer.

46

‘A minister for common sense? What next, a minister for funny walks?’

22 November 2023
‘A minister for common sense? What next, a minister for funny walks?’

Appointing a government minister to combat ‘wokeness’ is ludicrous, says Secret Thinker, who argues the whole cabinet should be using common sense.

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