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Don’t be scared, everyone’s welcome (including dogs) at The Plough in Langley and they promise there are no nightmares in the wide-windowed kitchen either.
Given the barmaid's brutally scarred face I’m delighted to say Halloween was in full swing at this formidable family pub near Sutton Valence – I just hope the barman’s large silver medallion was also part of the fancy dress.
There were a couple of beers available and, having previously been pleasantly surprised by Canterbury Ales’ 4.3% IPA Friar’s Ale, I asked to sample this one.
Sadly it was disappointingly sour so I politely declined and the medallioned barman said he wasn’t surprised as it hadn’t been requested yet today and this was the first pull of the pump.
Instead, I opted for the ‘Fosters of the ale world’ with a pint of 4% amber ale, Doom Bar. Presumably a few of these had already been pulled as it wasn’t bad and I took a seat at one of the high tables in the window.
The ‘families welcome’ tag is taken just as seriously as the ‘dogs welcome’ sign and there were kids everywhere, most of them unable to decide whether they wanted to be inside or out - a revolving door might be a better solution.
One mum at the bar, resplendent in a new light brown tracksuit, with boots to match, said: “That’s what half term does to you, you’ve got no brain cells left by the end of it”.
Despite the din I could still hear the music playing from a speaker on the bar and we were treated to some classics, How Bizarre from OMC, Valerie by Amy Winehouse, Toploader’s Dancing in the Moonlight, to name but a few.
The pub is massive and there are rooms in every direction, with stacks of tables set up for dining.
On this particular evening, in celebration of Halloween, the main dining room had been shifted around to accommodate a five-piece band.
I was joined by waitress Dawn, or Dawnie Poos to the barman, and when I mentioned the large window displaying everything going on in the kitchen she explained: “Well, you’ve seen Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares, this is the best way to show everything is being done properly here”.
Back in the bar, the barmaid was busy opening windows to cool the place down ready for the evening party and another member of staff came in to take away some bar stools to create more space.
Soon there were oodles of staff starting their shifts and it was clear the pub was expecting a busy evening.
The big screen in one corner of the bar was switched on and was silently showing George Clark’s Small Spaces to absolutely no-one.
Tastefully decorated with stripped floorboards and good quality furniture, all areas of the pub feel warm and welcoming.
It is mainly set up for dining but the bar area is still defined well enough for those just seeking a few bevvies and a chat.
Although, speaking personally, I’d lose the plaques with pithy sayings. I don’t need to know Martin Luther King reckons you don’t have to see the whole staircase, just to take the first step to enjoy a pint and, believe me, no-one else appeared to care either.
Becky, Adam and Debbie, who welcome you with a sign over the bar, are clearly very proud of the place and lose no opportunity to show off their bespoke pub logo.
There are also plenty of notices plugging a variety of offers, 241 cocktails every Friday 4pm to 7pm, burger and a pint for £14 on Wednesday and book early for Christmas.
The vast majority of people in this pub knew most other people in the pub and appeared to be members of several large family groups.
They were very friendly though and after I’d been in a while a young lady called Liv adopted me and began testing me with a never ending series of questions.
I answered as many as I could and think my favourite was: ‘Why do lorries have extra wheels they don’t use?'.
Liv didn’t seem overly impressed by any of my answers, but simply occupying her enquiring mind for a period of time did lead to dad coming over to offer me special thanks.
By now people were starting to arrive for the evening entertainment so bidding farewell to the barman, who was transforming himself into Freddy Krueger (maybe the medallion wasn’t fancy dress), I made my exit.
The Plough, Sutton Road, Langley, Maidstone ME17 3LX
Decor: It’s mainly set out for dining, but the bar area is well defined and the decoration and furnishings are in good condition throughout. I might lose the pithy sayings on plaques in the bar though. ****
Drink: It’s a shame the 4.3% Friar’s Ale hadn’t been pulled through before I was served a taster as it might have made all the difference. In the end my second choice, a pint of Doom Bar, wasn’t bad but I’m sure the Canterbury Ales option would have been better. **
Price: A pint of Doom Bar will cost you £4.40, if you prefer a lager then you have to pay £5.30 to enjoy a pint of Moretti. ***
Staff: Some were already in costume, some looked as if they were already in costume, but one thing which was uniform was the fact all staff on duty were attentive and helpful. ****
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