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This week I went the extra mile, well three to be exact, to deliver a double-header with a difference by bringing you two pubs with the same name.
I thought it might be interesting to compare a pair of Monks Heads (MH) and see which came out ahead. But as I started my quest I had no idea just how much the two have in common.
Larkfield’s MH was first and I was pleased to see it open at 4pm on a Monday as all too often when I’ve passed this way in recent years the historic 15th century hostelry has been locked up tight. Well not today, the sun was shining, the front door was wide open and the barmaid was outside having a fag.
I told her not to rush and moved inside so my eyes could adjust to the light – not that it was dark in here, with all the neon lights it was brighter than the sunshine outside.
At least Roxy, the rotund pub hound, had got a drink and, having nicked all the old crisp packets from the bin, not to mention the odd Peperami or two, she was wolfing down a bowl of water.
Whilst I waited for what was inevitably going to be a pint of lager I popped outside to find a reasonable sized back garden which is pretty well maintained. There’s a large wild section at the side with a monster fish pond but that’s fenced off.
I followed the strangely 10-windowed tunnel back inside and the barmaid pulled me a £4.80 pint of Stella. Even at this early hour I counted 10 people inside and two more at the far end of the garden.
Two women, who clearly love their country music and plagued the rest of us with their choices on the modern-looking jukebox, were well into a second bottle of fizz.
Rumour has it this place, dating back to 1446, used to be a favourite hiding place for priests to avoid the clutches of local pirates and several were successfully hidden in the upstairs rafters.
Why there were pirates in Larkfield I didn’t like to ask but many of the dark wooden beams definitely came from ships of that era.
It feels like a proper local and, after its open/closed/open/closed history for a few years, I was glad to see punters enjoying the place.
Even blindfolded you’d find the gents as the smell would lead you to the traditional stainless steel trough, complete with little lemon-coloured blocks, but it’s functional, traditional and the hand drier worked.
Okay, the card machine wasn’t working, apparently due to poor internet, and I saw no sign of ale but you’ve got to forgive a pub which bothers to host a regular meat raffle.
There was a newish looking dartboard in the gallery area upstairs, from where you can smell the cigarette smoke drifting through the open front door.
A short taxi ride away is Snodland’s MH on Constitution Hill. The door here was wedged open too and barmaid Charlie, with sunglasses pushed up onto her head, offered a warm welcome.
The London Pride pump clip was firmly turned round and she confirmed no-one drinks ale so they don’t bother getting it in any more. Instead I paid £4.60 for a pint of Stella.
I thought the furniture looked a fraction tired but Charlie said it’s worse than that and is desperately in need of a major makeover. The carpet also looked ‘okay’ to me but she says it collects, and holds onto, both dog hair and food scraps with a vengeance.
There were only two guys in, both on stools at the bar, who were busy reminiscing and reliving better days in Snodland’s past so it was pretty quiet. But sharing a few words with Charlie proved illuminating as she told us Lee Gaul, who owns about 10 local pubs, not only has Snodland’s Monks Head in his portfolio, but also Larkfield’s MH. So, I ended up viewing two pubs in Mr Gaul’s portfolio within an hour of each other.
At this pub, the pool table dominates the bar and the empty, silent dining room is only opened up Thursday through to Sunday.
There is a jukebox, a fruit machine and a pair of dartboards but no-one went near them.
Outside this pub isn’t a patch on its Larkfield namesake and the garden area, stacked with junk, looked desolate and uninviting.
The Snodland MH also has plenty of history and can trace its roots back to 1860, but it can’t compete with the beams packed into Larkfield’s MH. The sign here says ‘Families Welcome’ and I might be being unfair, but I found it difficult to imagine the bar attracting a cross-section of ages.
Summing up I’d suggest Lee Gaul has allowed the Larkfield Monks Head to take several important steps forward and hopefully it can now look forward to a more consistent future. Snodland’s MH is still very much a work in progress and requires a large dose of TLC to push it in the right direction.
MONKS HEAD, 22 CONSTITUTION HILL, SNODLAND ME6 5DH
Decor: At first glance I didn’t think it was too bad but as the barmaid started pointing out the flaws I realised it does need a makeover. Outside a large skip would be the best solution. *
Drink: Lager or lager was the order of the day, there’s no Pride left here so I decided to stick to the Stella. **
Price: Very similar to my first point of call, but the Stella here was 20p cheaper at £4.60. ***
Staff: Charlie was chatty, frank and happy to share what she knew about the pub’s history. She was attentive and only returned to her phone when there was no-one to serve. ***
MONKS HEAD, 44 NEW HYTHE LANE, LARKFIELD ME20 6PN
Decor: It used to be dingy inside but it’s much brighter and has benefitted from a good spruce up. The beams are great and the gallery area is fantastic. The garden is pleasant enough. ***
Drink: All the guys were on either Heineken, Stella or Moretti and your chances of getting a decent ale are slim in the extreme. But it’s giving punters what they want and the country music lovers were enjoying their sparkling wine. **
Price: My pint of ‘wife beater’ was £4.80 in here and although I don’t know the price I know the Heineken was the cheapest pint on the board. ***
Staff: Once she’d finished her fag the barmaid came straight in and poured a couple of pints for the locals before topping up Roxy’s water bowl and reaching for my Stella glass. **
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